The Blair-Bitch Project

Okay. I went on hiatus since it’s freakin’ hot and the summer air makes me nauseous. I’ve rambled Iloilo with my friends and jumped over to Guimaras for a taste of the ocean. Damn what do I get? Fuckin’ amoebiasis. I’ve always been particular when it comes to food and anything that I stick up my throat, but maybe there’ll always be a first time. Darn.

So anyway after the sleep... wakes up my ratty and rather cranky bitched self with a huge, wide, crooked grin and a hungry craving for my beloved dog-faced froggy Little L.

How have you been Ugly Betty? Missed me?

I heard you’ve been a rat-assed bitch with my best friend huh? Trying to tug down the confines of our walls with your pathetic texting? Oh come'on that's so yesterday. And yeah, okay fine, you’ve finally made me a case of an ass pissed, my rage has emerged graciously, humorously and highly defined. Until now my wits stand on easy end as I still can’t digest the felony of wordings that you’ve been scattering everywhere, EARTH TO YOU: You are not A-D-orable pup! You are H-orrible!. (God I wish she got the message). Did you know that your vulgarity of oaths thru SMS never touched a nerve? Or let me put that plainly since “COACH FROGGY” might not understand. Quote: You.are.so.L-A-M-E.

I knew you have a serious generous amount of slime in the brain, but damn I had no clue you were anatomical. Praise you Ms. Barbie girl. NOT!

Why do you insist on extracting your hotness? The world doesn’t need another narcissistic bitch. You don't have to blend in honey, because hell no you won’t.

"What part of my ignoring you makes you think you're welcome?"

Haven’t you heard, I’ve got friends in low and high places so never fuss if you one day discover that my power has gotten over you, and your grotesque gargoyle of a face gets hurled in the ashes. Anyhow, I believe in going to the zoo with the person I love or hate the most, you'll count  as the pet-peeve.

So Little L, go and multiply, that’s what all your talent comprises of aight? You are more of just a Barbie doll to me, you dumb-wannabe-freak-show. JUST BE GLAD I DON’T FLIP MY HAIR---I’d OWN you bitch.

“Hey, do you think you’d…ever get Normal?”

And wait, I know of an English professor, want me to put you on the summer class list? Since you’re so confident that you can speak the language with your chin up, why don’t you give me a sample and write an error-free, grammar-perfect, tenses-accurate life story about you and your deranged “husband”. Karma is not so reliable these days, so go on and make yourself a note:

I should hide my froggy face from the world. I should hide my froggy face from the world. I should hide my froggy face from the world. (Repeat till you die)

Isn’t that nice lhai-ar?? :D

Close your eyes when you meet me Cyclops, your black tick in the eye seriously disturbs the living hell out of me. Oh bummer, did I just imply again that you’re hideous? Crap.

Thank me one day for making you oh so famous in MY blog. I'd sure give you a welcome slap...;)